Emergency English

In case of an emergency, speak only in English !!

Never say prayers in any other language!

U never know what kind of translation problem u can run into :)

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance. Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied "Because he kept saying,

'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Never ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing

A young engineer was leaving the office at 6.45 p.m. when he found the
Managing Director standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in
his hand.

"Listen," said the Managing Director, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing
work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the
paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the Managing Director as his paper disappeared
inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson:
Never ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

Wonderful Example of Self Appraisal !!

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.
Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!!!"

INDEED WONDERFUL!