Japan Fast? Indian Very Very Fast

There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing.On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!The Japanese exclaimed, "What??… so expensive!" There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day, I hopped into a taxi and took off for the airport . We were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car, jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'

He explained, "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. NEVER take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with the routine life." Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...... 'Love the people who treat you right.. Pray for the ones who don't.'

A Millionaire & Three Beggers

There was a good-natured millionaire in the town. Three beggars thought of approaching him for help. The first man went to the millionaire and said: "O Lord! I want five rupees. Please give me." The millionaire was taken aback at this man's impudence. "What! You demand five rupees from me as though I owe you the money! How dare you? How can I afford to give five rupees to a single beggar? Here, take these two rupees and get away," he said. The man went away with the two rupees.

 

The next beggar went to the millionaire and said: "Oh Lord! I have not taken a square meal for the past ten days. Please help me."

"How much do you want?" asked the millionaire.

"Whatever you give me, Maharaj," replied the beggar.

"Here, take this ten rupee note. You can have nice food for at least three days." The beggar walked away with the ten rupee note.

 

The third beggar came. "Oh Lord, I have heard about your noble qualities. Therefore, I have come to see you. Men of such charitable disposition are verily the manifestations of God on earth," he said.

"Please sit down," said the millionaire. "You appear to be tired. Please take this food," he said, and offered food to the beggar.

"Now please tell me what I can do for you."

"Oh Lord," replied the beggar; "I merely came to meet such a  noble personage that you are. You have given me this rich food already. What more need I get from you? You have already shown extraordinary kindness towards me. May God bless you!"

But the millionaire, struck by the beggar's spirit, begged of the beggar to remain with him, built a decent house for him in his own compound, and looked after him for the rest of his life.

God is like this good millionaire. Three classes of people approach Him, with three different desires and prayers. There is the greedy man full of vanity, full of arrogance, full of desires. He demands the objects of worldly enjoyment from God. Since this man, whatever be his vile desires, has had the good sense to approach God, He grants him some part of the desired objects (even these very soon pass away, just as the two rupees the first beggar got are spent before nightfall).

The other type of devotee prays to the Lord for relief from the sufferings of the world, but is better than the first one, in as much as he is ready to abide by His Will. To him the Lord grants full relief from suffering, and bestows on him much wealth and property.

The third type  he merely prays to the Lord: "O Lord, Thou art Existence-Absolute, Knowledge-Absolute, Bliss-Absolute, etc., etc." What does he want? Nothing. But the Lord is highly pleased with his spirit of renunciation, of desirelessness and of self-surrender. Therefore, He makes him eat His own food, I.e., He grants this man Supreme Devotion to Himself. Over and above this, He makes the devotee to live in His own House For ever afterwards this devotee dwells in the Lord's Abode as a Liberated Sage

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10 Deadly Signs of Negative Thinking

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can't be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you'll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied  we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn't have to be some state that we want to get to eventually  it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.

2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We'll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself  what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful  in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself  you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you  there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn't even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure  I can't seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them  and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes.. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them  keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you've accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It's an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I'm going to beat so-and-so no matter what  I'm better than him. And there's no way I'll help him succeed  he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can't also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition  but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don't let it hold you back. Don't dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them.. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can't do anything right! Why can't you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we'd be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It's super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I've actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let's look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It's also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better.. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way  it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That's a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences  for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don't let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more  why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them  and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don't think I can do this  I don't have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don't think you can do something, you probably won't. Especially for the big stuff.. Discipline has nothing to do with it  motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for “some other time”, you'll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don't need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

 

Some smart ways to save and still have fun!

Recession is an ugly word. And one of the fallouts of globalisation is the ripple effect that the state of one economy has on multiple others, whether they are directly or indirectly connected.

With the economy of the United Stats currently in a tailspin, the effects are far-reaching, so it's especially wise, at this point, to take a good look at how you spend, and where your hard-earned money is going.

We will discuss here how to tighten your belt, in a number of small-yet-effective ways, so that you can maintain your lifestyle, discover new and better habits, as well as save along the way.

Where do you actually spend your money?

Typically, if you are an earning member of the family, and assuming that basics have been taken care of, then your outlay will range over expenses to do with food, entertainment, and shopping.

Eating Out

Eating out, whether an outcome of necessity, laziness, a sense of adventure or habit, has become a trend that has resulted in a booming restaurant industry.

When you eat out, you expect high standards in terms of quality, ambience and service. So how best do you continue to eat out in these difficult times, and make the most of it?

Try eating out at lunch instead of dinner. There are some great deals and great value to be had at lunch time set menus and buffets.

Ask your friends and relatives if they've eaten anywhere good recently. The best bargains are usually discovered by word of mouth.

Enjoy a drink at home before you head out to the restaurant. This is a good option if you want to cut your bill by half. Or, you could get there in time for Happy Hours, which most restaurants offer these days.

 

Cash in your vouchers. Many places offer deals on meals -- scope local magazines for the latest on what's hot, when.

 

Eat out in a group. At first glance, this may seem a little underhanded, but think of the great company, and the amount you will save when the bill arrives.

 

Avoid the weekends. This is when there's an entrance and/or cover charge if the restaurant has a bar attached, or is newly opened. And the service is also likely to suffer when things get hectic.

 

Don't delete those irritating text messages. Many restaurants offer discounts to prospective customers via SMS. Read your message carefully before discarding it.

 

Order an appetizer as a main, or split a main course with a friend. Ditch dessert.

 

Skip the fancy places and check out the neighbourhood dhaba. You will be surprised at the quality and quantity, as well as how reasonable the food is.

 

Consider leftovers. Be sure to ask for a doggy bag for anything you can't finish. Leftover restaurant meals make great lunches for the following day.

 

Fill up on the extras. Snacking on the complimentary peanut masala or bread sticks means more of your meal will go home with you.

And to complete the experience, drop by earlier to identify the best table, reserve in advance and don't forget to tip well, so they remember you the next time. Or you could just forget dining out and order in!

Entertainment

The recession is the right time to get creative with your entertainment options. Splurging at a night club or multiplex may not be the best thing to do right now, so let's consider the alternatives.

Check your paper and local magazines for events in the city. You will be surprised at the number of cultural, literary and spiritual happenings that occur on a weekly basis, and a lot of them for free, or a fraction of the price of your movie ticket.

 

Indulge in a hobby. Not only will you learn something new, or revive a past craft, but you will also derive satisfaction from it and meet new people at the same time.

 

Rediscover your city. Whether it's the local park or library, or a visit to a museum or an architectural site, revisit places you'd taken for granted until now.

 

If you can, catch a movie on a weekday. Ticket prices are much cheaper for morning shows, Monday to Thursday.

 

Entertain at home. But be smart about it. Suggest a pot-luck and BYOB, throw in a good movie and you have the makings of an excellent evening with friends.

 

Shopping

Whether it's to indulge your retail therapy fix, or the weekly list of grocery essentials, shopping is something you just can't get away from, and therefore all the more important to guard against, especially if you're looking to save.

Go generic. Don't always opt for branded products. There are savings to be had when you choose the in house store brand, to a national one.

 

Buy in bulk. This saves you money if you shop smart and buy those items that have a longer shelf life, such as soaps, shampoos and cleaning agents. Find someone to share it with you, and you actually divide up the cost.

 

Don't shop when you're hungry. This could lead to unnecessary expenditure. Better yet, reinforce your shopping expedition with a list, to restrict your purchasing to exactly what you need.

 

Avoid the ready-to-eat trap. Not only are they the most expensive items in the shop, but they also might not be healthy for you.

 

Don't shop with the family. If you have young children, all those extra goodies will add to your bill without your even realising it.

 

Try discount and seconds shops, and the factory outlets. Many of these stores are filled with hundreds of top quality items.

 

When shopping for clothes mix and match. Buying separates means you get more out of your wardrobe, and getting a suit is that much more expensive.

 

Buy wash-and-wear. Dry cleaning is expensive and not eco-friendly because they use petroleum as a cleaning agent.

 

Shop at My Dollar Stores where everything is Rs 99. Just remember to check the expiry date on the product, and compare prices with those outside. For example, a bottle of Tabasco is about Rs 150 outside, which makes this a good saving. However, a box of pasta that costs Rs 65 outside is obviously not a good option.

Shop online for bargains. You save on the cost of the product, as well as on petrol, by shopping through the Internet.

Steer clear of the bait-and-switch. During sales, many shops lure customers with huge discounts on the cheaper, lower quality items that no one wants, and lead you to spend full price on items that aren't actually on sale.

So there really are many ways in which you can save. You just need to do a little homework, and think smart!

Man And Love

John was waiting for his love....
"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"
"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and stuff .... oh there she is"
"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.
"OK I will try"
Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "Im sorry honey ... I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"
"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain .... "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
John ignored his brain .. "Its OK honey .. its only half an hour .. no problem"
She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember what occasion is today"
"OMG!!!", thought John .....
"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"
Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different parts ... parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete memory scan.
Sheetal stared at John .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2 minutes now ... u OK?"
"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"
"No records found", said the brain ...
"Damn!!", thought John
"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.
John is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?". said the brain
"OK OK ...stop pushing me"
"Honey .. U know my lousy memory .. I guess I cant recall what today is"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT T!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" , she shouted ... and started crying.
"How could you forget!! ..... its my doggy's birthday"
"!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.
John was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.
"Damage control sequence initialized ... dont worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
"Better do it fast ..brainy"
The brain was working at 90% capacity ..... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle women?'
Finally an answer was computed and communicated to John.
He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggie's birthday ... how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"
She looked up with utter surprise ...
"HUH!!!!!!! ....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"
She stood up angrily and left.
John and his brain were left there clueless ....
"Ah! screw u guys .. I'm going home", said his brain and left.

Married Couple

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' 

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' 

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. 

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..the husband became 92 years old. 

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember....fairies are female too.

Hot Chocolate

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired.

During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives.

Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain life.

The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have.

KFC and Pope

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.

The Pope says, "What can I do?"

The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'.   If you do it, I'll donate $10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "I am very sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words."   So the Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.   "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help.   I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"

And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders.   The church could do a lot of good with that much money.   It would help us to support many charities.   But, again, I must decline.   It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."   So the Colonel gives up again.

After two more months of terrible sales, the Colonel gets desperate.   "This is my final offer, your Excellency.   If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."

So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news.   The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The bishops rejoice at the news.

Then one asks about the bad news.

The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."

KFC and Bread

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate $10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "I am very sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"

And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." So the Colonel gives up again.

After two more months of terrible sales, the Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."

So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The bishops rejoice at the news.

Then one asks about the bad news.

The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."