The Soup

A man ordered a soup in the restaurant but, as soon as the soup arrived, he had to go to the bathroom.

To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I HAVE SPIT IN THE SOUP".

Once he returned, he found a message on the same napkin: "ME, TOO".

Hold Hands

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, “Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.”

A cold winter!

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

Laws Of Life

1) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy tone

2) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch

3) Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner

Honesty

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

Avoid Judging Anyone

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call ASAP, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled:

"Why did U take all this time to come? Don't you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't you have any sense of responsibility?"

Prescription

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! 

Job Interview - Honest HR Question-Answers

If we were to honestly reply to all the HR Questions they would go something like this

1. Why did you apply for this job?

I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?

I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job; I don't have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?

You have to hire someone; you may give me a try.

Did you see the shot fired?

A lawyer was questioning the testimony of a witness to a shooting. "Did you see the shot fired?"

"No sir, I only heard it."

"Stand down, said the judge sharply. "Your testimony is of no value." The witness turned around in the box to leave, and when his back was turned to the judge he laughed loudly and derisively. Irate at this exhibition of contempt, the judge called the witness back to the chair and demanded to know how he dared to laugh at the court.

Self Confidence

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him.

Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
    
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said.

After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."