Software Engineer- A Wednesday !!!

All of you who have seen the movie ‘A Wednesday’... will love it...

Commissioner Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj commintment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturday ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Project office ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..

I'm the same old ..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....

Kutta, Sher Aur Bandar ki kahani

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans rookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"

usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosne laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai. Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"


Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher soch mein pad gayaa. Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!"

Aur sher wahan se jaan bachaa ke bhaaga.


Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka achha hai sher ko saari kahani bata deta hoon - sher se dosti ho jayegi aur usse zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega.. Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gayaki koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere saath abhi uski leela khatam karta hoon" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.

Can u imagine the quick management by the DOG...

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Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bhej ke 1 ghanta ho gaya, saala ek sher phasaa kar nahi la sakta!"

Moral of the story: There are many such monkeys around us, try to identify them.

Creativity Comes From Within

Everyone wants to think of something new—solve a problem no one else can solve, offer a valuable idea no else has conceived of. And every business wants to encourage its employees to have the next great idea. So when a business offers its employees a bonus for creative ideas, a flood of great, original thoughts should come pouring in. Right?

We think that creativity, like any other task, can be bought and sold. But creativity is not the same as hard work and effort; it requires genuine inspiration. It is the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question, a situation, a possibility. Thus, creativity comes not in exchange for money or rewards but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.Japan Railways East had the contract to build a bullet train between Tokyo and Nagano to be put in place in time for the 1998 Winter Olympics.

Unfortunately, tunnels built by the company through the mountains kept filling with water. The company brought in a 5 team of engineers, who were highly paid to come up with the best solution. The engineers analyzed the problems and drew up an extensive set of plans to build an expensive drain and a system of aqueducts to divert the water out of the tunnels.A thirsty maintenance worker one day came up with a different solution when he bent over and took a large swallow of the tunnel water. It tasted great, better than the bottled water he had in his lunch pail.He told his boss they should bottle it and sell it as premium mineral water.

Thus was born Oshimizu bottled water, which the railroad sells from vending machines on its platforms and has expanded to selling by home delivery.A huge cost was transformed into a huge profit, all by looking at the situation differently. Experiments offering money in exchange for creative solutions to problems find that monetary rewards are unrelated to the capacity of people to offer original ideas. Instead, creativity is most frequently the product of genuine interest in the problem and a belief that creativity will be personally appreciated by superiors.

Joint Checking Accounts for Married Couples

Whether you are newly married or you’ve been married for 20 years, the debate over joint versus separate bank accounts is a hot topic among married couples. Some couples swear by separate bank accounts, and other couples think joint accounts are the only way to go. I’ll give you my opinion over the debate, the best checking accounts for married couples, and a strategy for making the joint checking account work.

Joint vs. Separate Accounts

I have a strong opinion about this debate. I think that all married couples, new and old, should hold joint checking and savings accounts. I understand the argument for separate accounts, but when you said “I do” at the altar, you made a commitment to become one cohesive unit. You are a team, and you need to act like one. When you choose not to share your finances, you are choosing not to share one of the most important aspects of your lives. You can give me all of the excuses about how it works better with separate accounts, and it’s too confusing to share money. The reality is that you don’t trust each other, and you won’t put the time into sharing your money. Don’t settle for the compromise of spending whatever you make. Your marriage is not a business partnership, and if you weren’t ready to give up control of your money, then you weren’t ready to get married.

Responses To Advocates Of Separate Bank Accounts

“She/He spends too much money, and he/she won’t listen to me when it comes to saving money” The answer to this problem is communication and/or marriage counseling, not separate bank accounts. If your spouse refuses to change their financial habits and they are reckless with money, then you don’t have a financial problem. You have a marriage problem. You need to find common ground as a married couple, and help each other rather than get mad at each other. If you can’t communicate and resolve the problem on your own, see a marriage counselor. There may be a bigger issue that one of you isn’t talking about.

“It’s too confusing to share money. I’m afraid that we’ll overdraft on our account.” This is the excuse of a lazy couple that doesn’t want to communicate and budget money together. The solution to this problem is getting on a budget, and planning how you will spend your money each month. Set aside two hours each month to go over your budget and finances for the month with your spouse.

“She/He brought more debt into the marriage. She/He should pay it off on his/her own.” I’ve actually heard people say this before, and it makes me cringe every time I hear it. When you get married, you are coming together become one person, one flesh. You work as a team, and you help each other no matter what. If your spouse is bringing in a bunch of debt to the marriage, it’s now your debt. I don’t care who’s name is on the debt. You have an obligation as a marriage partner to share that debt.

Strategies for Sharing Bank Accounts

Our Strategy: I married a girl who is more frugal than me. In fact, she makes fun of me for the gadget cravings that I get and my weakness for spending money when we go out at night on a date. I got lucky. I never worry about her going on a spending spree with our money. She follows our budget religiously. There was no question when we got married that we would share a checking and savings account. We have a Bank of America checking account for convenience, and we have an ING savings account for short-term savings. I have a 401k for retirement, and now that she’s working, we’re going to open up Roth IRA’s with Sharebuilder in the coming months. We’ve shared a checking account for three years, and it’s been a great decision. We sit down every two weeks to go over our finances and map out what we’re going to do with OUR money, even though I was the only income producer for the past three years.

Joint Checking Account with Two Separate Checking Accounts: If you simply can’t grasp the concept of having one joint checking account, then try this method. Keep a joint account that feeds all of your income into it, and pay all of your bills through this account. Keep a separate checking account for yourself and for your spouse. Divide up 5 to 10% of your income into the separate accounts. Make a pact that you can do whatever you want with that money and your spouse can’t question you about it (as long as its legal! haha). My wife and I do something similar with cash. We give each other a certain amount of money each month called “mad money”, but instead of putting it in separate accounts, we keep it as cash. I like having some cash on me at all times, because there are still situations in life where you can’t swipe a piece of plastic, and sometimes cash speaks louder than plastic.

I know that i made some bold statements in this article, but I will stand by them. It was not my intention to offend you, but I hope it gets you thinking about your current financial set-up with your spouse. I am sure there are people out there that have separate checking accounts with a healthy marriage, but it is the minority. Think of this is a challenge to get you to think differently, not an attack on your current opinions. You must be on the same page with your finances, and sharing every aspect of it is part of the foundation of a healthy marriage.

For Hard Workers Only

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

"Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for." The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

Share this story with someone you like....

But even better, share Rs.100 worth of time with someone you love. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close ! To our hearts

You all are same!!

Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him,and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here." The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg,Carlsberg, you're all the same."

Indian English

An Italian, French and Indian went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green , pink and yellow.

The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day."

The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV.

Last was the Indian: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green green", I " pink" up the phone and I say " Yellow"

All you want to know about fiscal deficit

India is one of the fastest growing economies in the world. The foreign exchange reserves reach a new high every week ($141 billion at last count), inflation has been controlled and nominal interest rates continue to be low.

Yet there are concerns about India's fiscal deficit. The combined deficit of the central and the state governments stands at greater than 10 per cent of the GDP (gross domestic product). The public debt has almost reached four and half years of revenue.

So there are reasons to worry.

Visualise your Goal

The Catalina Island is twenty-one miles away from the coast of California, and many people have taken the challenge to swim across it.

On July 4th 1952, Florence Chadwick stepped into the water off Catalina Island to swim across to the California coast. She started well and on course, but later fatigue set in, and the weather became cold.

She persisted, but fifteen hours later, numb and cold, she asked to be taken out of the water.

After she recovered, she was told that she had been pulled out only half a mile away from the coast. She commented that she could have made it, if the fog had not affected her vision and she would have just seen the land.

She promised that this would be the only time that she would ever quit.

She went back to her rigorous training. And two months later she swam that same channel. The same thing happened. The fatigue set in, and the fog obscured her view, but this time she swam with faith and vision of the land in her mind. She knew that somewhere behind the fog was land.

She succeeded and became the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel. She even broke the men’s record by two hours.

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

When you set your goal, keep pressing on even when you are tired, physically and mentally, and even though there are many challenges ahead.

Keep the vision of your goal crystal clear before you and never, never, never… give up!

See the reaching, commit to it, and you will surely see your goal realized

Can you say these three words "I Love you"

I have found that all of us are like "MISER" when it comes to expressing our feelings to others. We are very lavish with our harsh words. More over, these harsh words are mostly bombarded to our near and dear ones, all the time. Seldom pausing to think how that person "feels" when they hear us.

"PEOPLE WE LOVE THE MOST, WE HURT THE MOST"

Isn't it very sad the we restrict "I LOVE YOU" only for our lover, and that too just during the courtship period and after marriage ........ we become too busy. It is not that we do not love them or do not have emotions.

It is just that we do not EXPRESS. We assume that they will understand...

"I love you.", Perhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling your near and dear ones that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted.

Everyone needs to hear these three golden words. "I LOVE YOU."

These 3 words can enrich every relationship. Say it, Feel it, enjoy it, Love it and brighten near and dear one's day.

Just like "An apple a day keep the doctors away" similary "I LOVE YOU" a day keeps diseases away.

So friends, let take up this Change, the change that I can express my FEELINGS, not only the -ve's but even the +VE'S specially saying these 3 golden words "I LOVE YOU" to our Parents, Spouse, Children and family members.

Let us not repent later!!! Start Today....

Cold water

A young man went to his grandfather's place to stay for the weekend. He was sitting down to lunch when he noticed that the spoons and forks were encrusted in a thin filmy substance.

He asked his grandfather,"Are you sure you washed it properly?"

"As clean as cold water can get it" was the reply.

So the young man shrugged and started eating.

The next day at breakfast he noticed that the plates were dirty and grimy. It also smelled a bit like dog.

Are you sure you washed it properly?"

"Clean as cold water can get it" was the reply again.

The man, a bit suspicious for his health, looked at his grandfather, than at his plate and started eating.

As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog jumped out in front of him, growled and generally blocked him from going forward.

"Cold water, leave the poor boy alone!" shouted the old man from inside.

Some Wife Bashers

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

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Married life can be very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

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A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"

The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

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Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or the wife is

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A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife."

The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

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"What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife."

"What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days."

"But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."

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Maria married Peter this day

Maria married Peter this day. At the end of the wedding party,

Maria's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.

With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Maria, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Peter. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Maria shared this with Peter when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Peter after marriage

- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Maria

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Maria got pregnant

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Peter got promoted

...... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Maria talked to her Mother:

'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first.

Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Maria thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.

When she was home, she handed the passbook to Peter, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Peter gave the passbook back to Maria. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'this is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How
much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped.

Life is about correcting mistakes."
Always be happy & keep smiling

What is book building all about?

Have you applied for the shares in an Initial Public Offer (IPO) lately? Did you observe the statement that claims, 'The company plans to raise Rs 3,600 crore (Rs 36 billion) through book building method'?

Are you aware what book building is all about? No? Then, read on to know more about this new method of determining the share price of a company during IPO.

What is book building?

When companies are on the look out to raise money for their business operations, they use various means for the same.

Two of the most popular means to raise money are Initial Public Offer (IPO) and Follow on Public Offer (FPO).

During the IPO or FPO, the company offers its shares to the public either at fixed price or offers a price range, so that the investors can decide on the right price. The method of offering shares by providing a price range is called as book building method.

Book building

Book building is actually a price discovery method. In this method, the company doesn't fix up a particular price for the shares, but instead gives a price range, e.g. Rs 80-100.

When bidding for the shares, investors have to decide at which price they would like to bid for the shares, for e.g. Rs 80, Rs 90 or Rs 100. They can bid for the shares at any price within this range.

Based on the demand and supply of the shares, the final price is fixed. The lowest price (Rs 80) is known as the floor price and the highest price (Rs 100) is known as cap price.

The price at which the shares are allotted is known as cut off price. The entire process begins with the selection of the lead manager, an investment banker whose job is to bring the issue to the public.

Both the lead manager and the issuing company fix the price range and the issue size. Next syndicate members are hired to obtain bids from the investors. Normally the issue is kept open for 5 days.

Once the offer period is over, the lead manager and issuing company fix the price at which the shares are sold to the investors. If the issue price is less than the cap price, the investors who bid at the cap price will get a refund and those who bid at the floor price will end up paying the additional money.

For e.g if the cut off in the above example is fixed at Rs 90, those who bid at Rs 80, will have to pay Rs 10 per share and those who bid at Rs 100, will end up getting the refund of Rs 10 per share. Once each investor pays the actual issue price, the shares are allotted.

Book building vs fixed price

The main difference between the book building method and the fixed price method is that in the former, the issue price is not decided initially.

The investors have to bid for the shares within the price range given and based on the demand and supply of the shares, the issue price is fixed. On the other hand, in the fixed price method, the price is decided right at the start.

Investors cannot choose the price, but must buy the shares at the price decided by the company. In the book building method, the demand is known every day during the offer period, but in fixed method, the demand is known only once the issue closes.

Book building vs. Reverse book building

While book building is used to raise capital for the company's business operations, reverse book building is used for buyback of shares from the market. Reverse book building is also a price discovery method, in which the bids are taken from the current investors and the final price is decided on the last day of the offer. Normally the price fixed in reverse book building exceeds the market price.

Book building is the price discovery method in which the investors bid for the shares of the company during IPO/FPO. They are given a price range in which the investors have to bid for the shares.

Depending on the demand and supply of the shares, the issue price is fixed. Those who bid at the price higher than the issue price end up getting refund and those who bid at the price below the issue price end up paying the remaining amount.

Source: Bank Bazar

What is Excise Duty all about?

In the Indian tax structure, there are a lot of taxes that people pay for different reasons. Income tax, sales tax, entertainment tax, value added tax etc. All these taxes are existent because in some way or the other it impacts and helps the economy. One such tax that is prevalent in any manufacturing sector is the excise duty.

What is excise duty?

An excise or excise tax (sometimes called an excise duty) is a type of tax charged on goods produced within the country (as opposed to customs duties, charged on goods from outside the country). It is a tax on the production or sale of a good. This tax is now known as the Central Value Added Tax (CENVAT).

Though the collection of tax is to augment as much revenue as possible to the government to provide public services, over the years it has been used as an instrument of fiscal policy to stimulate economic growth. Thus it is one of the socio-economic objectives.

What are the types of excise duty?

There are three different types of central excise duties which exist in India which are as follows:

Basic - Excise Duty, imposed under section 3 of the 'Central Excises and Salt Act' of 1944 on all excisable goods other than salt produced or manufactured in India, at the rates set forth in the schedule to the Central Excise tariff Act, 1985, falls under the category of basic excise duty in India.

Additional - Section 3 of the 'Additional Duties of Excise Act' of 1957 permits the charge and collection of excise duty in respect of the goods as listed in the schedule of this act. This tax is shared between the central and state governments and charged instead of sales tax.

Special - According to Section 37 of the Finance Act, 1978, Special Excise Duty is levied on all excisable goods that come under taxation, in line with the Basic Excise Duty under the Central Excises and Salt Act of 1944. Therefore, each year the Finance Act spells out that whether the Special Excise Duty shall or shall not be charged, and eventually collected during the relevant financial year.

Which goods are excisable goods?

The term 'excisable goods' means the goods which are specified in the first schedule and the second schedule to the Central Excise Tariff Act, 1985, as being subject to a duty of excise and includes salt.

Who is liable to pay excise duty?

The liability to pay tax excise duty is always on the manufacturer or producer of goods. There are three types of parties who can be considered as manufacturers:

• Those who personally manufacture the goods in question
• Those who get the goods manufactured by employing hired labour
• Those who get the goods manufactured by other parties

Is it mandatory to pay duty on all goods manufactured?

Yes, it is mandatory to pay duty on all goods manufactured, unless exempted. For example, duty is not payable on the goods exported out of India. Similarly exemption from payment of duty is available, based on conditions such as kind of raw materials used, value of turnover (clearances) in a financial year, type of process employed etc.

What is the consequence of evading payment of excise duty?

Under the different sections of the central excise act, the fines for evading tax can range from twenty-five to fifty per cent of the amount of duty evaded. When you look at the amount of excise you may have to pay, this is a rather large amount and along with the financial repercussions, you also have to encounter a tarnished image.

Supernatural Power

There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...

Then At Exact 9.00 Am, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

Snotty receptionist

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.
As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

Champu Kavita

Pareshaan thi Champu ki wife
Non-happening thi jo uski life
Champu ko na milta tha aaram
Office main karta kaam hi kaam

Champu ke boss bhi the bade cool
Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
Kaam to karwate the roz till nine

Champu bhi banna chata tha best
Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
Onsite ke ummid main deta salami

Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
Bura hota gaya Champu ka haal
Champu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha

Aakhir ek din Champu ko samjh aaya
Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh maya
Boss se bola, "Tum kyon satate ho ?"
"Onsite ke laddu se buddu banate ho"

"Promotion do warna chala jaunga"
"Onsite dene par bhi wapis na aunga"
Boss haans ke bola "Nahi koi baat"
"Abhi aur bhi Champus hai mere paas"

"Yeh duniya Champuon se bhari hai"
"Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai"
"Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga"
"Tumhari tarah Ek aur Champu banaunga"

(WAKE UP CHAMPU)

Classic Definitions

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

3. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

4. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that

everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is

defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life...

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor

degree and a woman gains her master degree.

19. Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be

spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in

midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30.. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with

his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails

Bored with your job?

Are you feeling de-motivated at work? Does the thought of getting ready for work make you feel sapped of your energy levels?

If yes, then it's time to recharge your batteries and bring back the zing in your job. As the old adage goes, 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy', often, repeating the same professional task, not receiving enough appreciation or being doled out lesser pay than you deserve can make your professional life mind-numbing and dreary. So, before you plan to call it quits and find a new job, here's how you can find satisfaction in your current job...

1. Fun + work = Job satisfaction

If you are fed up of doing the same task over and over again - responding to E-mails, taking phone calls, filing documents, find a way to make your work more interesting. Make friends at the workplace, throw a party, add creativity to your job or simply take a break and gossip. This will surely lighten up your mood!

"I completely believe in working hard and partying harder! If you are making a lot of money and you have no time to spend it, there's no point devoting long hours at work. It's necessary to de-stress yourself if you want to keep your interest in work alive," says Shruti Gulati (name changed on request), a media professional.

2. Self appreciation

Are you losing enthusiasm because nobody appreciates all your hard work? Nobody pats your back for a job well done? Well, then all you need to do is appreciate your own efforts. Doing so will not just boost your confidence levels, but will also make you want to work more and improve your skill sets. Analyzing your own tasks can help you identify hidden flaws in your working style and help you rectify the same.

"I always make it a point to compliment my staff, even if it is for a cup of coffee well made, or any task well done. Who doesn't like a pat on their backs? But at the same time, one should be realistic and not lose confidence even if your senior/boss doesn't acknowledge your work. One should keep working towards his goals and improve his performance constantly to get noticed and get complimented for the same," says Ajay Singh, marketing head of a firm in Mumbai.

3. Set a goal

"If you have a set a goal, you would be more than willing to fulfill it and when you see things’ happening in the direction of your goal, your sense of achievement is doubled. Hence you're happier and work harder," says Neha, a human resource professional with a multi-national company in Delhi.

Besides setting short term goals and meeting deadlines, think of where you want to see yourself ten years from now and how your present job can help you get there. Evaluate your present job in context with your career goal. Also, reassessing your performance and progress from time to time and keeping a track of your career graph can be of great help in enjoying what you do.

4. Cluttered desk?

It may sound simple and you may not attach too much importance to it, but a messy desk and cluttered office environment undoubtedly drains the employees' motivation. A neat workstation is of great help in creating a structured thought process. A cluttered desk will not just make you feel lethargic and demodulated, but will also act as an obstruction to concentration.

"I feel that a neat workstation helps me concentrate better. My desk has just the basic things I might need during work – a pen holder, a phone and a calendar, as I believe that sticking too many pictures or quotes etc. distract me from work," says Aayushi Pathak, manager in a private bank in Noida.

5. Sleep well

"It is extremely important to take care of your body, especially if you are spending long hours in office. Your physical well-being is crucial for your mental-well being. If you don't sleep well or skip your meals too often, it will certainly affect your concentration and enthusiasm towards your job. Being physically fit is inevitable for a healthy lifestyle," says Manuj Singh, a fitness trainer.

Not sleeping enough or partaking of a well balanced diet or stressing you, physically and mentally, can affect your mood and energy levels. Often, working for longer hours takes a toll on your health and you generally start having a hard time. Exercising or meditating may be a good way for your physical and mental well-being.

6. Pamper yourself

Do you spend your weekends sleeping or occupying a couch, watching TV? It's time to go out and pamper yourself. Pursue your hobbies; visit a spa or even an amusement or water park to rejuvenate your senses. Spending time with your family/friends or going for a long drive is a great stress-buster.

"I think it is as important to plan out 'me-time' on a weekend as much as it is to prepare a 'to-do' list for a working day. I love to pamper myself on a weekend, whether it is by cooking or going for a walk in a nearby park. I completely avoid thinking about work and deadlines. It acts as a great stress-buster," says Shreya Jain, 28, who works with an IT firm.

7. Take a break!

Don't stress yourself by working non-stop. Doing so may decrease your efficiency and gradually lead to losing interest in work. Take a break at regular intervals to keep your interest alive.

If it's been years or even months since you last went for a vacation, you may actually need a break to revitalize yourself and feel refreshed. What's better than spending some time just listening to your favorite music, reading a book you've been wanting to or spending a night in a tree house?

"My eyes feel strained and shoulders ache when I work for longer hours without taking a break. Sometimes, I also tend to skip meals if I am too engrossed in work. I frequently get a headache even when I reach home. The work pressure is too much to handle and sometimes it's just not possible to go out even for a cup of coffee," confesses Vikram, who works with a telecom company in Mumbai.

8. Analyze the problem

If you have made every effort to bring back the joy in your job, but it's been of no help, it may be time to sit back and think. What's the cause of your dissatisfaction? Is it because you are being paid less or because the work doesn't interest you anymore? Or is it because the job is not helping you learn or grow in your profession? Analyzing the problem may help you plan your next move.

"It is only after you have analyzed the problem that you can find an appropriate solution. For example, if you have too much workload, you can always tell your boss to take a few things off your plate, or share your concerns/discontentment with your seniors. If your promotion is long overdue, find the underlying causes like lack of experience or qualification and work towards the same. You can also try doing more than your job requires, so that your boss recognizes your talent and potential," explains Neha.

9. Identify your area of interest

Identifying your area of interest and finding a suitable work profile may be the best option to love your work. They say, if you make your interest your profession, you won't have a single working day. So, while it may be important to earn a living, it is equally important to seek job satisfaction.

"If you have no good reason to like your job, you may need a change in employment. You can explore various job options in your industry through job portals or networking and find something that interests you. But before you do so, you can also explore the job options within the same organization. Identifying their area of interest will not only help people gain job satisfaction, but will also prevent them from changing jobs too frequently," says Navneet Singh, a corporate trainer.

10. Focus on the positives

Try to keep your focus on the positive things about your job, rather than focusing on the negatives. For example, try ignoring things like an irate boss, difficult colleagues, impossible deadlines or long working hours. Focusing on the negatives will only make you lose your interest further. Focus on the positives like – how your current task helps you learn/grow in your career, how your experience can add value to your resume or how your present organization can help you bag a better job in the future.

Abhishek Mishra, a software professional working in Indonesia says, "Whenever I feel demodulated or frustrated at work, I try to focus on the positives. Although, it sounds impractical, but it really does help me sometimes in venting out the negative feelings. I think practicing this regularly can make one less resentful or discouraged."

"People generally tend to focus more on the negative aspects of their job when they are perturbed. They keep finding faults in everything that surrounds them. Such behavior greatly influences their efficiency levels and makes them feel even worse. The best way to handle this is to jot down the things that irritate or disturb you and how you can deal with each one of them," explains Singh.

Source: Rediff

PE ratio - How it helps in stock selection

Have you ever experienced the following scenario: you buy 1 kg of apples at Rs 100 per kg, only to find out they were available at Rs 80 per kg just a few feet away? Aren't you disappointed at having to pay more for the same quality of apples?

The same also applies to stocks.

If you buy a share of company 'A' for Rs 100 and later on find out that the share of company 'B', with better earning prospects, is available for Rs 60, it is bound to disappoint you.

So how do you find quality bargains? How can you decide if the current stock prices make sense? Does the price justify the earning prospects of the company?

The answer to these questions is: Price-Earning (PE) ratio.

Introduction to PE ratio: PE ratio is one of the most widely used tools for stock selection. It is calculated by dividing the current market price of the stock by its earning per share (EPS). It shows the sum of money you are ready to pay for each rupee worth of the earnings of the company.

PE = Market price / EPS

Assume there are two companies 'A' and 'B', operating in the same sector. If PE of 'A' is 30 and PE of 'B' is 22, then 'B' is considered to be a better buy, as the market price has not gone up to reveal the earnings prospects of the company. But 'A' is considered to show higher growth prospects as compared to 'B'.

How does PE help?

Understanding PE gives the investors an idea if the stock has sufficient growth potential. Stocks with low PE can be considered good bargains as their growth potential is still unknown to the market.

If the PE is high, it warns of an over-priced stock. It means the stock's price is much higher than its actual growth potential. So these stocks are more liable to crash drastically. This was evident in the recent market crash when the stocks of all Reliance companies fell sharply.

This will allow savvy investors to sell their holdings before the stock price crashes.

Drawbacks of PE ratio

Interpretation of PE ratio is heavily dependent on comparison of the company with its peers. Also PE that is considered very high in certain sectors can be considered very low in other sectors.

For instance, companies in IT and telecom sectors have higher PE ratio than the companies in manufacturing or textile sectors.

Also PE ratio is not totally neutral. Any major announcement of a major order or acquisition by the company will certainly push up its PE. On the other hand, low PE may not indicate a good buy but could signify more serious issues facing the company. So it is very important to perform a thorough research into the background of the company, before investing.

Besides EPS itself is assumed, as it forecasts future growth based on past performance. However, there is no guarantee that the company can continue to maintain its performance each year. Also the sector in which the company is operating may experience problems as was recently seen for the IT sector.

So PE ratio cannot be considered to be a totally reliable indicator of cheap, good stocks.

Yet, PE ratio remains one of the most important ratios when it comes to stock selection

Source: Rediff