INTELLIGENT THINKING

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. 

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

Brilliant Equation....

Equations!- This is the best I have read in a LONG time Equation1 Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy Donkey = eat + sleep

Emergency English

In case of an emergency, speak only in English !!

Never say prayers in any other language!

U never know what kind of translation problem u can run into :)

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance. Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied "Because he kept saying,

'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Never ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing

A young engineer was leaving the office at 6.45 p.m. when he found the
Managing Director standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in
his hand.

"Listen," said the Managing Director, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing
work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the
paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the Managing Director as his paper disappeared
inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson:
Never ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

Wonderful Example of Self Appraisal !!

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.
Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!!!"

INDEED WONDERFUL!

Software Engineer- A Wednesday !!!

All of you who have seen the movie ‘A Wednesday’... will love it...

Commissioner Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj commintment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? "
mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe
boss ke bulane pe mein saturday ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain
kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Project office ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon..

I'm the same old ..STUPID SOFTWARE ENGINEER....

Kutta, Sher Aur Bandar ki kahani

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uskii taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans rookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"

usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosne laga aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai. Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"


Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher soch mein pad gayaa. Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!"

Aur sher wahan se jaan bachaa ke bhaaga.


Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka achha hai sher ko saari kahani bata deta hoon - sher se dosti ho jayegi aur usse zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega.. Woh phataphat sher ke pichhe bhaaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gayaki koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere saath abhi uski leela khatam karta hoon" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki taraf lapka.

Can u imagine the quick management by the DOG...

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Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bhej ke 1 ghanta ho gaya, saala ek sher phasaa kar nahi la sakta!"

Moral of the story: There are many such monkeys around us, try to identify them.

Creativity Comes From Within

Everyone wants to think of something new—solve a problem no one else can solve, offer a valuable idea no else has conceived of. And every business wants to encourage its employees to have the next great idea. So when a business offers its employees a bonus for creative ideas, a flood of great, original thoughts should come pouring in. Right?

We think that creativity, like any other task, can be bought and sold. But creativity is not the same as hard work and effort; it requires genuine inspiration. It is the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question, a situation, a possibility. Thus, creativity comes not in exchange for money or rewards but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.Japan Railways East had the contract to build a bullet train between Tokyo and Nagano to be put in place in time for the 1998 Winter Olympics.

Unfortunately, tunnels built by the company through the mountains kept filling with water. The company brought in a 5 team of engineers, who were highly paid to come up with the best solution. The engineers analyzed the problems and drew up an extensive set of plans to build an expensive drain and a system of aqueducts to divert the water out of the tunnels.A thirsty maintenance worker one day came up with a different solution when he bent over and took a large swallow of the tunnel water. It tasted great, better than the bottled water he had in his lunch pail.He told his boss they should bottle it and sell it as premium mineral water.

Thus was born Oshimizu bottled water, which the railroad sells from vending machines on its platforms and has expanded to selling by home delivery.A huge cost was transformed into a huge profit, all by looking at the situation differently. Experiments offering money in exchange for creative solutions to problems find that monetary rewards are unrelated to the capacity of people to offer original ideas. Instead, creativity is most frequently the product of genuine interest in the problem and a belief that creativity will be personally appreciated by superiors.

Joint Checking Accounts for Married Couples

Whether you are newly married or you’ve been married for 20 years, the debate over joint versus separate bank accounts is a hot topic among married couples. Some couples swear by separate bank accounts, and other couples think joint accounts are the only way to go. I’ll give you my opinion over the debate, the best checking accounts for married couples, and a strategy for making the joint checking account work.

Joint vs. Separate Accounts

I have a strong opinion about this debate. I think that all married couples, new and old, should hold joint checking and savings accounts. I understand the argument for separate accounts, but when you said “I do” at the altar, you made a commitment to become one cohesive unit. You are a team, and you need to act like one. When you choose not to share your finances, you are choosing not to share one of the most important aspects of your lives. You can give me all of the excuses about how it works better with separate accounts, and it’s too confusing to share money. The reality is that you don’t trust each other, and you won’t put the time into sharing your money. Don’t settle for the compromise of spending whatever you make. Your marriage is not a business partnership, and if you weren’t ready to give up control of your money, then you weren’t ready to get married.

Responses To Advocates Of Separate Bank Accounts

“She/He spends too much money, and he/she won’t listen to me when it comes to saving money” The answer to this problem is communication and/or marriage counseling, not separate bank accounts. If your spouse refuses to change their financial habits and they are reckless with money, then you don’t have a financial problem. You have a marriage problem. You need to find common ground as a married couple, and help each other rather than get mad at each other. If you can’t communicate and resolve the problem on your own, see a marriage counselor. There may be a bigger issue that one of you isn’t talking about.

“It’s too confusing to share money. I’m afraid that we’ll overdraft on our account.” This is the excuse of a lazy couple that doesn’t want to communicate and budget money together. The solution to this problem is getting on a budget, and planning how you will spend your money each month. Set aside two hours each month to go over your budget and finances for the month with your spouse.

“She/He brought more debt into the marriage. She/He should pay it off on his/her own.” I’ve actually heard people say this before, and it makes me cringe every time I hear it. When you get married, you are coming together become one person, one flesh. You work as a team, and you help each other no matter what. If your spouse is bringing in a bunch of debt to the marriage, it’s now your debt. I don’t care who’s name is on the debt. You have an obligation as a marriage partner to share that debt.

Strategies for Sharing Bank Accounts

Our Strategy: I married a girl who is more frugal than me. In fact, she makes fun of me for the gadget cravings that I get and my weakness for spending money when we go out at night on a date. I got lucky. I never worry about her going on a spending spree with our money. She follows our budget religiously. There was no question when we got married that we would share a checking and savings account. We have a Bank of America checking account for convenience, and we have an ING savings account for short-term savings. I have a 401k for retirement, and now that she’s working, we’re going to open up Roth IRA’s with Sharebuilder in the coming months. We’ve shared a checking account for three years, and it’s been a great decision. We sit down every two weeks to go over our finances and map out what we’re going to do with OUR money, even though I was the only income producer for the past three years.

Joint Checking Account with Two Separate Checking Accounts: If you simply can’t grasp the concept of having one joint checking account, then try this method. Keep a joint account that feeds all of your income into it, and pay all of your bills through this account. Keep a separate checking account for yourself and for your spouse. Divide up 5 to 10% of your income into the separate accounts. Make a pact that you can do whatever you want with that money and your spouse can’t question you about it (as long as its legal! haha). My wife and I do something similar with cash. We give each other a certain amount of money each month called “mad money”, but instead of putting it in separate accounts, we keep it as cash. I like having some cash on me at all times, because there are still situations in life where you can’t swipe a piece of plastic, and sometimes cash speaks louder than plastic.

I know that i made some bold statements in this article, but I will stand by them. It was not my intention to offend you, but I hope it gets you thinking about your current financial set-up with your spouse. I am sure there are people out there that have separate checking accounts with a healthy marriage, but it is the minority. Think of this is a challenge to get you to think differently, not an attack on your current opinions. You must be on the same page with your finances, and sharing every aspect of it is part of the foundation of a healthy marriage.

For Hard Workers Only

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

"Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for." The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

Share this story with someone you like....

But even better, share Rs.100 worth of time with someone you love. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close ! To our hearts